On the morning of April 14, Thad came over to my bed where I was nursing Elisabeth. He climbed into bed between his father and I, sat down and said: “Look at me Mommy. I’m so big now!”
Then he said: “Mommy, I’m not going to drink milk anymore, cause I’m big now. I won’t ask for milk. I’ll keep it for the new baby!”
I grabbed him and hugged him. I told him we can still hug and cuddle, and I’ll still squeeze him tight.
“Mommy, do you know which side to keep for the new baby?” And he points to my right breast. Ahhh this boy!!!
That evening, as he watched me nurse his little sister to sleep, he said: “Mommy, I’m not going to ask for milk.”
My firstborn. Always so considerate and caring, especially towards his momma. From the very beginning, I said to myself that I was going to let him self-wean, whenever that might be. But, I’ve also nudged him along the way.
When I was pregnant with Elisabeth, it came to a point where I had to limit his time spent on the breast due to nursing aversion. We started using the countdown timer, a trick that has stayed with us right up till the night before April 14. During that time, there were days he would nap and go to bed for the day without asking to nurse. While I thought I’d be relieved, I was a tad sad it happened so quickly. Crazy momma hormones.
Thankfully though, a few days after Elisabeth was born, Thad was right back at the breast. Tandem nursing them was the only time in my day I managed to sit and do nothing! Bonus if they both fall asleep!
Thad is now a couple of weeks short of his 4th birthday. While I did suggest to him once that perhaps we will stop nursing when we celebrate his 4th birthday, I have recently really resented having him nurse. Even if he was only nursing for all but 5 seconds, I actually feel the physical need to squeeze his arms. If he didn’t stop when I asked him to, I’d actually feel the urge to slap him. So I told him: “Thaddeus, I think you have to stop now, cause sometimes when you nurse, I feel like I want to hit you, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
While he verbalised that he would stop nursing back in April, he really only stopped some time in late June. I don’t even know when was the last night he asked.
I’m surprisingly NOT crazy emotional about him weaning. It has been so gradual and adjustment-free.
I do miss holding him though. It feels like I never carry him anymore. I rarely hug him or kiss him! And he is not quite 4 yet!